Dad’s Guide to Supporting a Woman’s Birth Journey
Dads can play a huge role in creating a supportive environment for their partner. By actively preparing and participating in the entire birth process, and being fully present both physically and emotionally, the experience deepens your relationship and becomes transformative for you both.
From attending prenatal classes together to practicing essential comfort techniques, such as soothing massage or focused breathing exercises, dads can help create a calm environment for their partner.
During the intense moments of labor, dads can advocate for their partner’s wishes, assist with important decision-making, and provide constant reassurance through thoughtful words of encouragement. By being engaged, dads not only strengthen their bond with their partner, but also become an integral part of the birthing experience.
As you joyfully welcome your new baby into the world together, you can feel a sense of teamwork and deep connection, which is a beautiful way to begin your new chapter as parents.
So, what’s a dad to do?! I’ve got you covered!
Here are some lists that can help you feel more prepared and confident in your special role…
Before the Big Day:
Make sure you’re clear about the birth plan, her preferences, and what everything means.
Facilitate discussions about her feelings around labor and ask for phrases you can use to reassure her during labor.
Become familiar with the general flow of labor process (though every labor is different and there really is no “normal”, it’s good to know the basics of how things generally progress, how to time contractions and what goes on during active labor and the transition phase
Practice massage, acupressure and counterpressure techniques.
Practice supportive positioning with your partner.
Pack yourself a bag for the hospital with essentials like snacks, a change of clothes, a sweater, toothbrush and phone charger - place your bag and your partner’s bag in a ready-to-go location.
Prepare a playlist of music or calming sounds together.
Establish a code word
During the intensity of labor, this discrete signal requests pain relief or the need for a private conversation
During Labor:
Be ready to advocate for your partner’s wishes while understanding things may need to change- remember to use your code word if you and your partner need to regroup privately to make decisions or changes to the plan
Keep the environment calm and serene as possible
TIP: if you have music going, make sure the song matches the mood and you can always skip or replay a song if you feel that’s necessary
Encourage her and shower her with love and affection, and also, recognize when she may need quiet and space to go inward
Give comfort: Holding her hand, warm or cold cloths on forehead and neck depending on her temperature/preference, lightly stroking her hair or her arm
Try to be in tune with her as much as you’re able. Ask less questions and tend to her needs quietly
For example: Instead of asking her if she wants ice chips- just pick up the cup, gesture towards her, and wait for her response. This helps her keep her focus and not feel like she has to speak which can take more energy than you’d think when in the throes of labor.
Immediately Postpartum:
Take lots of photos!
Remind her how amazing she is and how great she did!
Offer skin to skin with baby so she can rest and you can have bonding time with baby.
Offer a beverage or snack to your partner.
Take care of yourself! Make sure to eat, drink water, whatever needs you have that you may have put on hold to take care of your family.
Also, should you have a doula on your birth team, she’s got your back too!
Doulas play a crucial role in supporting fathers during the birthing process. While the focus is often on the birthing person, it's important to note that dads also need emotional support as they navigate this transformative experience.
A doula provides reassurance and encouragement to fathers, helping them feel more confident and involved.
When the labor becomes intense, the doula can step in to ensure that the birthing person receives the care they need, allowing dads the chance to take a break. Whether it’s stepping outside for a quick meal, refreshing themselves, or simply taking a moment to gather their thoughts, having a supportive doula facilitates a balanced experience. This way, dads can engage fully in the process without feeling overwhelmed.
Moreover, doulas can offer guidance on how dads can best support their partner, equipping them with techniques to comfort and encourage during labor. This collaborative effort not only strengthens the bond between partners but also promotes a positive and empowering atmosphere for welcoming their new baby.
